Well folks, here it is – my new website, with a BLOG page. What to write, what to write? From what I’ve been reading, there are specific formulas for writing a ‘proper’ blog. It’s all about keywords, calls-to-action, spaces between paragraphs, a smattering of bold type and italics, plus a bit of bullet pointing, to make it quick and easy to skim read (because, really who has enough time to read things properly these days?!). Let’s not forget an eye-catching photograph interspersed at intervals to keep the reader engaged past 3 seconds. Here’s some ridiculously good-looking leaves, so you can have a break from all this reading right now:
Ah see, I definitely feel better after looking at that. Now where was I…yes writing a blog – why would I do this, what would I write, and really why would anyone want to read it?
If I was great at conforming to all the things I’m ‘supposed to do’, this blog would be well worked out to ‘add value’ to your life, get you hooked on ‘my brand’, keep you on my website for the longest time, and of course, sell you something.
Luckily for you, I’m pretty crap at conforming and doing things in the right order, so even though I’ve read all about blogging – How to come up with 50 blog topics in 5 seconds, Top 100 Keywords to use to make a zillion dollars, 500 Free Blog templates so you can write a blog-just-like-everybody-else’s-blog…….eeeek! My brain melted down, I had to fortify myself with some good quality chocolate. But I took some notes, saved some lists to my desktop, and I even started writing a blog about where artist’s find inspiration using correct keywords, purposeful questions, and snappy photographs ….and really when it was all done, it just seemed dull, empty, and quite frankly a bit pompous. In short I felt disingenuous and like a complete wanker!
Ooh time for a photo break – a spectacular picture of the sky to rest your weary eyes upon:
Mmmm, that’s better. So anyway, I decided that regardless of my inability to conform to the rules-and-regulations-of-good-blog-writing, I’m going to forge on and write one anyway, because I have now designed this new website that has BLOG in the menu bar and I hate the thought of you lovely people taking the time to click on it and finding nothing there.
Here’s some fancy bullet points in italics:
- I can’t promise that my blog posts will appear with a clockwork regularity – it’ll probably be more like a random little surprise each time one appears. (Hopefully a good surprise, not like the spider on the back of the toilet roll kind of surprise),
- I really can’t promise it will add any value to your life whatsoever (because unless you’re really old school and print it out, you won’t even be able to use it for toilet paper in an emergency),
- I can’t even promise there won’t be toilet jokes since I just made two feeble ones in the same paragraph (I wonder if there’s a protocol on how many toilet jokes you’re allowed to make in a blog).
- AND I may even try to sell you stuff during my blog – either overtly, or possibly in a casually reverse engineered kind of way (if I can get my head around the blog I read about how to do that).
Photo break: as Monet said- “I must have flowers, always, and always”:
The thing is, whislt I do want to do well in my little world of art-making, I’m really not that interested in doing things to formulas just to win people over. I don’t want to feel like a wanker, a fake, a spruker, or a sleazy salesman. And I don’t want to be bored out of my brain by having to do it. If I’ve got something to say I’ll do a bit of writing, if I haven’t you won’t hear from me. It’s a bit of an experiment really, I may never write another blog, this may well be all I’ve got in me.
So if that sounds like something you can handle, welcome to my erratic-no-guarantees-blog and if you’re really keen and want to know when I do write the next one, you can sign up to my mailing list at the bottom of this page and I’ll let you know when the next blog is here (that is a promise!).
If you think this sounds ludicrous, no worries – you don’t have to read my blog to buy my stuff so feel free to head on over to my shop page and buy some stuff instead (that was the overt sales pitch, when I work out the reverse engineering style, you won’t even know what happened, you’ll just wake up with a room full of cool ceramics one morning) 😉
Final photo, you’ve nearly made it to the end of the blog: Beetles, how cool are they in their funky little suits of armour? I love ’em.
I can’t remember how I’m supposed to end a blog, so here’s the rest of the excerpt that was at the top of the page. It’s from a book I recently read called – “the WAR of ART” by Steven Pressfield. I like it because it’s a bit of a reminder, a manifesto even, for any artist trying not to fall into (or be unwittingly reverse engineered into) the endless sea of soulless manufacturing, mindless trend-following, copy-cat making, slave-labouring and environmental trashing that is the majority of our consumer world. It reminds me to strive to be an artist with integrity.
“As artists and professionals it is our obligation to enact our own internal revolution, a private insurrection inside our own skulls. In this uprising we free ourselves from the tyranny of consumer culture. We overthrow the programming of advertising, movies, video games, magazines, TV and MTV by which we have been hypnotized from the cradle. We unplug ourselves from the grid by recognizing that we will never cure our restlessness by contributing our disposable income to the bottom line of Bullshit, Inc., but only by doing our work.”
Yeah! I feel like it should be said out loud, standing with fist over heart.
What’s your manifesto? What reminds you of your raison d’être? There’s a comment box below if you’re feeling inspired to share. (Phew, nearly forgot to ask any questions!).
Until next time,